lilgwacie

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:02:20 GMT

I'm gone, the ground is shaking under
Feels like the world may all come crashing down
Now your words and sorrys have no meaning
Baby, you lied

You turned it on; wasn't my imagination
Everybody knows that you've been running round
So dumb; let you play with my emotions
Baby, you lied

If this isn't love, what did I feel inside?
If this ain't love, how could you look in my eyes?
Cause my heart is breakin', not falling this time
This can't be love, now I know
You're a beautiful lie
It's just a beautiful lie

So cold; had me wrapped around your finger
Part of a show like a puppet on a string
How could I know I was just another victim
Baby you lied

If this isn't love, what did I feel inside?
If this ain't love, how could you look in my eyes?
Cause my heart is breakin', not falling this time
This can't be love, now I know
You're a beautiful lie
It's just a beautiful lie

I can't stay when I keep falling apart
I won't be here waiting, lost in the dark
Now I know it's time to let go
And I won't take this anymore
I don't wanna be lonely, but I can't take no more
You're just a heartache, baby
I'm out that door

Cause my heart is breakin', not falling this time
This can't be love now I know
You're a beautiful lie
It's just a beautiful lie

Cause my heart is breakin', not falling this time
This can't be love now I know
It's just a beautiful lie

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:50:05 GMT

I've been thinking this entire week if I should apply to UniCorps or not. The biggest issue would be time commitment. Winter quarter will be very hard. Busy season and planning and all that. Maybe I should just stick to being a counselor. Oi. I really want to do more with UniCamp. SIgh. We'll see.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:00:56 GMT

I feel lucky--I'm still alive post Tuesday afternoon!

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:16:27 GMT

Feeling emo again. Argh. -_-

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 05:29:17 GMT

Song of this summer: Girls on the Dance Floor by Far*East Movement

Song of this summer (up at camp): Love Story by Taylor Swift ... with Knock You Down by Keri Hilson ft. Ne-Yo and Kanye as a close second.

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:41:27 GMT

I started officially driving to work again this past Monday. The 10 freeway welcomed me back with open arms and with a scene that looked like it came straight out of a movie. At 10 PM, I was traveling eastbound on the fast lane, having already passed Target and Rosemead Blvd. In front of me was a van. In front of that van was a black sedan, possibly a Mazda. I suddenly see that black car turn/swerve to the left, do a complete 360 turn, and slide against the divider straddling the carpool lane. My heart practically stopped. My mind was racing through thoughts of changing lanes to avoid the flying debris without hitting potential cars that were in my blind spot. Seeing all this happen right before my very eyes was quite surreal. The swerving happened in mere seconds. What a welcome indeed.

Sat, 23 May 2009 22:31:37 GMT

so i found i'm allergic to cherries as well... -_-

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:14:05 GMT

my last entry was almost three months ago. i have so much to write, so much i want to record: feelings, thoughts, ideas, aspirations. but the censorship is what stops it first. no real place to put down what i honestly want to write. i try to post happy stuff on xanga, though it's probably pointless now as most people have switched over to facebook notes. still not comfortable enough to have so many people accessible to thoughts they probably don't want to read. so that leaves me with LJ...or mostly protected LJ. Yay for that.

dcon recap: i think its almost a point of mine to make sure, even though the hecticness of busy season, that i make it to cki dcon. i feel dcon was one of those pivotal events in cki that can inspire a person to do amazing things...to want to. you not only feel empowered with the confidence that you can make a difference, but you're surrounded by 300+ other people who motivate you and in turn, is motivated to do step up; this probably explains the big jump in chair application interest post-dcon. hehe. so, career fair was pretty cool: just like recruiting season, but toned down a whole lot. nice to see old familiar faces. ucla cki still make me happy. luke still cracks me up: final 32! the coolest grandma he knows. awards dinner...totally random outburst from me when jaymie mentioned key to college...and then she referenced my name a bit afterwards. how embarrassing. =p governor dan's speech and demonstration left me a bit queasy with the whole break an arrow or a metal bar with your throat thing. talent show acts were pretty awesome...ucla's blew me away. i saw uci practicing their dance outside...and just from the moves, i could tell it was an nsync song from the "no strings attached" album. guen would've been proud me of for knowing that. =p dcon dance is still the only place i feel comfortable dancing with ppl...still a "no" to clubbing...totally not the same feeling. the dcon dance is just like a very abbreviated version of DM. closing session still makes me tear up. didn't feel like everything was completed when i left...like there were still unfinished business somehow. got to know usc's mandi a bit better...i'll try to make it a goal to get to know susan, usc's incoming president. all in all, another good weekend that brought back good memories of past dcons...particularly the past one in WHLs.

i still have my wristband on...and its irritating the hell out of my wrist...but i still don't want to cut it off...

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 23:56:42 GMT

How perfect. My 4-book collection set of the Twilight series from B&N arrives right when my hibernation is set to end. How sad that it finally arrives after my intial order placement on Thanksgiving Day. Good thing I've already given the entire saga a once-over already.

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:10:18 GMT

I was watching a Wong Fu music video last night and they played an instrumental track from Zhan Shen Mars in the end credits. That started my searching on Youtube for the 讓我愛你 song and that linked to the 零 song. And just from listening to that song, it brought forth the feelings of depression I felt in my last year of college. All of those emotions, from when I watched that drama series and listened to the OST, brought on by a song or two. That was such a unhealthy quarter. -_-

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 07:55:27 GMT

First week of August recap:

8/5 - All Employee Meeting in downtown Long Beach. Caught up with K-cubz at Downtown Disney. =D
8/7 - Almost missed the train on the way home. -_-
8/8 - Opening ceremony at summer Olympics in China! Wowwwww.....so long, yet such great performances, especially the printing presses. Though my family did notice that they slipped in shots of Shanghai (the Bund, Orbital Pearl Tower, etc) with Beijing when they were showing areas of Beijing. Oi.
8/9 - 0809 CAYP Kiwanis informal board meeting. Looks like 0809 will be an interesting year... =p

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:47:33 GMT

What has happened to my taste in music? Haha. This song is pretty good. =)

~~Miley Cyrus - Seven Things~~

I probably shouldn't say this, but at times I get so scared,
When I think about the previous relationship we've shared.

It was awesome, but we lost it. It's not possible for me not to care.
Now we're standing in the rain, but nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear,

The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
....

And compared to all the great things that would take too long to write,
I probably should mention the seven that I like..

The seven things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined, everything's alright
I want to be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

You do...

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 06:23:17 GMT

A little backstory: sometimes, the more and more I read--novels in particular--the more and more hard it is to distinguish the fine line that separates fiction from reality. Time and time again, this line has been blurred, and I find myself doing a double take to ascertain what is true and what is purely written word. Yet, in the end, I can fairly tell what I have personally experienced from what I had learned vicariously through a multitude of multi-faceted and sometimes one-dimensional characters.

However, even with this in mind, I cannot seem to shake the notion that I am in the midst of something that feels like it's coming straight from a John Grisham novel or something. The way things are unfolding...how much that remains to be unseen to the casual and nonobservant eye...I feel that something bigger, much bigger than I can imagine, is brewing....biding its time...waiting for the right moment to ascend.

I received a phone call in the middle of the afternoon on Tuesday, nothing particularly special since I get these types occasionally, like the one in April. However, one phrase that stood out that particularly disturbed me. How did one know of the circumstances, of the situation? There has to be another link, another source. And for what purpose? What was the intention of this source and its link to how the circumstances have unfolded. What is my role in it? I can't help to think how my actions will impact what is to come and what the right moves and decisions I should make.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:28:43 GMT

this is how i'll feel by the end of july: @_@

...must cram more info in...

..one of the many disappearing acts for 2008.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:20:25 GMT

Randomness :

I opened my email last night and had a complete "She's All That" moment. I read the email, looked up, and the thought of "Who the hell would nominate me?" ran through my head.

I just saw an ad banner while signing in that read "you can't avoid taxes" and I thought: "hell yeah. that's why I'm still employed!" haha.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 06:32:47 GMT

Weird fact: I've started to enjoy listening to country music. Haha. I mean, I always liked LeAnn Rimes' music (and not just her pop albums...I actually liked her Blue album when it was released back in...1997?). But lately, I started listening to Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood and 105.1 and started downloading songs I've heard on 105.1. And now, I'm slightly hooked. Hehe. It's a nice change from all the crappy hip hop played on KIIS and the weird ass alternative punk on 98.7.

Some good country songs:
Taylor Swift: Teardrops on My Guitar, Our Song, Picture to Burn
Carrie Underwood: Before He Cheats, Wasted, So Small (Ever Ever After's good, but it's not country =p)
Big & Rich - Lost in this Moment
Sugarland - Settlin'
LeAnn Rimes: Blue, One Way Ticket (Because I Can), Nothin' New Under the Moon
Brad Paisley - Letter to Me

(there's some other ones...but I don't remember who sang what...since most of the time, I just hear it on the road...and didn't think of writing down the song to google it later.)

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:32:42 GMT

I can't wait til April, when I get my weekends back and can start volunteering again. I miss going to service projects, especially the ones I found through L.A. Works that I didn't have a chance to attend yet. =/

Just two and a half more months.

Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 03:43:09 GMT

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:44:44 GMT

Why do I have so much passive aggressive anger in me? I don't feel like talking to you. Nothing personal (maybe).

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:23:40 GMT

Weird. Lately, I've been rewatching my Gilmore Girls DVDs (I can't believe I haven't seen some of the old episodes on TV at all!) and there are times when I just can't stop watching, even when I'm supposed to be doing something else. I can't believe how much Rory mirrors me in college during her years in high school. Watching season two and three, I just couldn't stop comparing. It's like I'm watching a chapter of my life unfold again...with some slight nuances.

[from Wikipedia]
Dean Forester, played by Jared Padalecki, is a main character in seasons 1 through 3, and recurring afterward. He is introduced as the new guy in town in the "Pilot". He immediately falls for the shy, sensitive intellect, Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel) after she shows him around Stars Hollow. Rory in turn quickly becomes infatuated with him, and he becomes the first serious boyfriend for Rory. Later, however, Jess Mariano is introduced. Although the couple was having problems before Jess, their relationship is further strained after Rory spends more time with Jess. Dean is eventually driven to jealousy by Jess' presence and this leads to the end of his relationship with Rory. Dean later starts dating a girl named Lindsay Lister (Arielle Kebbel) and impulsively marries her. However, it is still obvious that he still carries strong feeling for Rory. Dean remains too close to Rory and, when it becomes clear to him that he's made a mistake in marrying Lindsay, he goes to Rory and starts an affair—Rory's first sexual experience. When Lindsay eventually finds out, she throws out Dean. But Dean decides to rekindle his romance with Rory (even though she now lives at Yale). They later realize that their lives were heading in different directions, and Dean ends their relationship for good. In his final appearance in "To Live And Let Diorama", Dean does not see Rory, but rather Luke. Dean relates his faulty relationship with Rory due Luke's with Lorelai, saying that ultimately, Luke would hold Lorelai back from whatever potential she may have. With this statement, Dean is never heard from again.

Jess Mariano, played by Milo Ventimiglia, was a main character in seasons 2 and 3, and recurring afterward. He is both labeled a bad boy and intellectually inclined and well-read. Jess's knowledge of books and pop culture eventually appealed to Rory Gilmore. They became friends despite others' disapproval, and Jess pursues Rory, despite her relationship with Dean. Jess leaves town for a while following a car accident which leaves Rory injured. Rory skips school to visit him in New York, where they officially say goodbye. In the season two finale, he returns for a surprise visit during Sookie's wedding. Rory impetuously kisses Jess, and then begs him not to say anything.

Jess and Rory officially start dating after the local dance marathon when Dean tells Rory he knows she is interested in Jess and breaks up with her. Their relationship runs into trouble because of both Jess's and Rory's constant insecurities and difficulties communicating. When Luke finds out that Jess would not be allowed to graduate from Stars Hollow High because he had cut too many classes, he tells Jess that he must repeat his senior year or leave. Unwilling to accept Luke's stipulations, Jess rides a bus to Venice Beach, California to find his estranged father. He has a brief encounter with Rory on the bus, but she is unaware of his departure at the time. In California, Jess meets his father.

Jess briefly returns to Stars Hollow in season four to steal back his car from Luke after his mom tells him Luke stole it from him nearly a year earlier. Jess also sees Rory several times, though every encounter ends with him giving her the cold shoulder. Jess leaves after telling her that he loves her. A few months later, Jess returns to Stars Hollow for the wedding of Liz. After the wedding, Jess visits Rory in Yale and asks her to run away with him. She denies. Jess appeared for the final time in the Season 6 episode "The Real Paul Anka", where he, Luke and Rory meet again at the new book store/art gallery/publishing house in Philadelphia where Jess works.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:33:27 GMT

ELPHABA
Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight
I need help believing you're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings could not forsee
Lying beside you, with you wanting me

And just for this moment, as long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance and crossed some border line
And if it turns out it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling, it's up that I fell

BOTH
Every moment, as long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body and make up for lost time

FIYERO
Say there's no future for us as a pair

BOTH
And though I may know, I don't care
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
Come be how you want to and see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:19:34 GMT

I really want to tell you. I mean, you do have a right to know. But then, is it really something you'd want to know? Things would probably be a lot different, I guess, for the good and bad. Maybe, one day, some day...

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:43:52 GMT

I had the same feeling again. I didn't want to come back. Strangely enough, I wanted to stay in Portland longer, I wanted ICON to continue on a little more. Sigh. I just don't want to face the inevitable. Disappear.

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 04:03:35 GMT

Deciding what I should make private, protected, and public.

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 09:04:12 GMT

what do I want? what do I REALLY want?